Tuesday, February 3, 2015

My struggles today

When I have extra time, especially when summer nears, I love to look at cute summer dresses and dream of looking cute in them.  This is part of what keeps me on task.

Today I ate my usual fruit sandwich and logged it into My Fitness Pal.  I had only a little over 1100 calories left after my whopping 185.  I went to the gym and led a class ( a darn good one if I don't say so myself!) and when I was done I was hungry.  As I leave the parking lot the thoughts of food enter my head.  The biggest one is the doughnut.  My kids will tell you they get to eat a doughnut once or twice a year simply because they are my weakness, so I avoid them like the plague.  I started my binge-eating thought process about how I have done so good and really just one is not going to hurt. And in the deepest part of my mind I told myself "If no one is watching, do the calories count?"  I know enough to know that I will not be able to work off that doughnut, even with the three hundred calories I will eventually burn today, it would only put me at maintain…and I need a lose!  And by the way, I did not do good previously!  I was absolutely destructive over the week end.

As I drove out of the parking lot I asked myself two questions.
1. Why are you doing this? (coating calories, trying to lose)
Answer: I really want to prove to myself that I can make better choices, and the inches won't come off without the change in my diet.  Not to mention I BETTER practice what I preach.

2. What can I do, or think at this moment to change the sabotage that is sure to come if I don't deflate these thoughts…ha ha deflate!!
Answer: Think of the food I can have, the stuff that doesn't cost me. like fresh veggies or fruit.  I know that if I can just get it into my mouth it will at least take away the hunger pain.  Think, your car needs to go home, and no where else.

By the time I got home I needed to do something.  I first went for the soup I made last night, then remembered that I could really fill myself up and have so much more if I had a salad with veggies!  I ended up having a huge bowl of lettuce with celery, green onions, and some seasoned veggies that I had water sautéed a few nights ago.  I put a couple of tablespoons of Nutritional yeast on top and viola!  It filled me up nicely.  That was at 10am.  By noon I was wanting food again, now it was lunch and now I would eat the soup (Soul soothing african Peanut Stew by Angela Lidon Oh She Glows cookbook).  This soup is very comforting, and very healthy, 1 cup at 271 calories was very satisfying.  I am now craving sweets and dreaming about cinnamon toast crunch (what is it even doing in my house?!!!) but instead I am going to have some free grapes!  I had a cup of black coffee earlier, and will have some plain herbal tea here pretty soon.  Drinking water is best.  Sometimes I shake it up with plain herbal tea :)

No comments:

Post a Comment